BeH2O® Child-centered Co-parenting Approach introduced at the 62nd Annual AFCC Conference
This past week I attended the 62nd Annual Association of Family Conciliation Counselors (AFCC) conference. There were approximately 1000 attendees including judges, custody evaluators, mediators, lawyers, coaches and other family court professionals. I met committed professionals who share the goal of supporting families through the difficult experience of co-parenting. They are tired. They are searching for new tools for the parents they serve. They are struggling in a system that is overloaded and for many, doesn’t seem to be working.
As one of the first 10 nationally trained and certified BeH2O® child centered co-parenting coaches, I attended the conference to share the power of BeH2O®, a uniquely designed program that blends entrepreneurial business systems with conflict resolution practices to redesign a family’s operating system. We know their old system of co-parenting didn’t work. We also know that the current models of custody evaluation, parent coordination, GALs, etc. feel more geared toward shaming and blaming than toward empowerment and skill building. The well-intentioned goal of these professionals is to change the families, but what the families need is transformation. It’s not the same. That’s why we have developed an entirely different approach that doesn’t tell co-parents what they should do, but instead gives co-parents the tools and the training to experience and build it for themselves. Every family is different. What works for one may not work for another, and that’s why we guide the co-parents to build their own system, couple by couple.
At the conference, in addition to being an exhibitor, our founder, Trina Nudson, had the opportunity to present BeH2O® in a breakout workshop. This program is a unique outlier in the world of managing co-parenting conflicts. In the BeH2O® program, co-parents attend a 16 week workshop together to develop effective communication and problem-solving skills that enable them to navigate disagreements in a productive and child-focused way. The practice alternates every other week, with skill building group workshops one week and joint meetings with each co-parenting couple the next during which they apply the tools they learned to their specific situation. We additionally offer each parent two private sessions so that they feel heard-something that is often missing in their lives. Throughout the process the goal is for the co-parents to design a new operating system that works for them. The 16 week practice enables them to engage their neuroplasticity and build new habits that will ultimately become their “go to” response, establishing a better future for everyone, especially their kids.
Children feel relief as they see their parents working on their relationship. They gain a stronger sense of security as they see their parents’ communication improve and experience reduced conflict. They come to know they are important to both parents and that their parents are committed to doing better.
We shared BeH2O® with the AFCC community because we know that when parents are introduced to the program on their own, they most often turn away. There is an embedded belief that they can’t communicate and nothing will work. And they sure as hell don’t want to be in the same room as their co-parent. However, in Olathe, Kansas, where BeH2O® was born, the judges are ordering couples into the program. We believe that this practice can heal thousands of families across the country and offer it as a resource to judges, custody evaluators, mediators, lawyers, and coaches. The current 10 nationally certified coaches offer the program virtually, enabling them to work with couples anywhere. I am located in New Jersey, but I can build groups from different geographic regions.
If you are curious about the research, you can be confident because BeH2O® has been evaluated and certified by the Kansas State University through the Divorce Education Assessment Collaborative.
We know that when you are in the weeds trying to support families, you struggle to find resources that can really work. BeH2O® works when therapy and mediation fall short. BeH2O® prepares families for the future, not just the next hearing.
Please reach out to learn more. Set up a call with me here. You can learn more about the program and find more coaches at www.beh20coparenting.com.
