The Top 5 Ways a Divorce Coach Walks You Through Divorce

When I went through my divorce, I had no clue what to do. Let’s be honest — most of us don’t. We think the first step is calling a lawyer. After all, we want to know our rights, protect ourselves, and act fast.

But calling the lawyer isn’t always the first thing you need. The truth is, the legal process is only one part of the experience. Before you sign anything, before you lock yourself into a track that may not reflect your values — you need someone to help you find your footing.

That’s what a divorce coach does.

A divorce coach walks beside you as you figure out who you are now, what you want, and how to move through this process with clarity, confidence, and yes — even a little grace. Coaching isn’t therapy, and it’s not legal advice. It’s something different. It’s strategic, it’s supportive, and it’s centered entirely around you and your future.

When I work with clients who are just beginning to think about divorce — or who are stuck in the fog of the middle — we focus on five core areas.

Values and Vision

We always begin with you. Not the legal paperwork. Not the money. Not even the co-parenting plan. You.

You come into the space and we talk. You share where you are coming from, what brought you here, what’s been going on in your life, how you’re feeling, what’s swirling around in your head. And I listen — deeply. I reflect back what I hear so you can begin to see yourself clearly again.

This isn’t just about venting. It’s about finding your center. Divorce, even when it’s the right decision, is a loss. For many people, it’s the unraveling of a dream they built their life around. That deserves attention, tenderness, and time.

Then, we begin to rebuild. I’ll ask you questions about who you are at your best. What values guide you? What traits do you want to bring forward into this next chapter? What skills or strengths have gone quiet in you? Together, we begin to imagine what it looks like to live as your full self again — possibly for the first time in a long time.

This is where you start to stand on your own feet.

Financial Clarity

Money. It’s scary for a lot of people, especially if you weren’t the one managing the finances in your relationship. Even if you were, divorce can throw everything into question — what do I need to know? What will I be entitled to? What happens next?

In this phase, I help you get a clear picture of what’s real. We talk about the documents you need to gather, what accounts you can access, what you might need help tracking down. You begin to learn the language of your own financial life. And if we need to bring in a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst — someone who can really break down the numbers — I help you find the right one for your situation.

I often call this the “discovery moment.” It’s not about getting every answer right now. It’s about beginning to understand your reality, without shame or fear, and learning what questions to ask next.

Communication Tools

For many people, this is the hardest part. You may feel silenced, dismissed, triggered, or just so exhausted that you don’t know how to speak up anymore. You might even find yourself mimicking the dynamic you’re trying to escape.

But here’s the truth: you can learn new ways to communicate. You can create boundaries you feel good about. You can have hard conversations without losing yourself.

This part of coaching is all about practice. We talk through real-life situations — the text you want to send, the conversation you’re dreading, the way your ex talks to you in front of the kids. We role-play. We pivot. We pause and try again. You start to get your power back — not by yelling louder, but by standing in your truth more clearly.

Sometimes we even build the script together for how you’ll tell your spouse you want a divorce — or how to respond if you’ve been blindsided by them. And sometimes, after doing all this work, people realize they want to stay in the marriage — but with new terms, new patterns, new awareness. That’s okay too. There’s no one right outcome. There’s just the one that’s right for you.

Procedural Options

Once you feel a bit more grounded, we talk about the “how.” Because believe it or not, you have more choices than you think.

Many people assume divorce automatically means court battles and high legal fees. But that’s not always the case. We explore options like mediation, where you and your spouse work with a neutral third party to create your own agreements. In mediation, you make the decisions — not a judge who doesn’t know you, your kids, or your values.

And if mediation doesn’t feel safe or realistic in your situation, we talk about that too. I help you evaluate what kind of attorney you might need, and whether a mediation-friendly or litigation-ready lawyer is the better fit.

This is where you stop feeling at the mercy of the system — and start feeling like you have choices again.

Child-Centered Co-Parenting

This part never really ends, does it?

If you have children together, you will be co-parenting for the rest of your life — through graduations, birthdays, weddings, and everything in between. That reality can feel heavy at first. But it can also be the beginning of something healthier — for you and your children.

I offer guidance and workshops based on BeH2O® co-parenting practices that help you build a new foundation. We focus on values-based decision-making, emotional regulation, and communication that protects your kids from being caught in the middle.

You don’t have to be best friends with your ex. But you can learn how to work alongside them — or around them — in a way that keeps your children safe, seen, and loved.

You Don’t Have to Walk Through This Alone

Divorce coaching isn’t a luxury. It’s a form of support that helps you move through this moment with fewer regrets, more clarity, and a stronger sense of self.

If you’re standing at the edge of the unknown, wondering what to do next — let’s talk. I offer a free Divorce Clarity Session where we can explore your story, your needs, and what support might look like for you.

You don’t have to rush.
You just have to begin.
Schedule your free session.