Heart and Soul - Thoughts for the Jewish New Year 5784
I remember when I was a kid learning to play piano. We got the greatest kick out of playing the song, “Heart and Soul”. It was a duet with two very simple parts. You may know it. In fact, you probably hear it in your head right now. Neither part was very hard, and when one person sat down to play the bass and another sat down to play the melody, all of a sudden you had a song.
Thinking back to that time, I wonder if the joy of that duet was not so much the music, but that the music came from the duet, the partnership. It came as a result of not one, but two people sitting together at the piano. Two people connecting and making beautiful, simple music together.
I also wonder about the name of the piece. Heart and Soul. What does it mean that the title of the piece is Heart and Soul? The most powerful connections we feel with others are heart connections. And those heart connections are the strongest when they come from our deepest places, our souls. A piece entitled Heart and Soul has a lot to live up to. And it’s really a simple piece. These days it could even be called an “ear worm”, once you hear it, it stays with you!
My work these days sits in two places where disconnection between heart and soul looms large – divorce and recovery from addiction.
In one part of my life I work as a divorce coach. In divorce, the separation is obvious - my clients find themselves separated from the person who may at one time have been their closest friend, deepest love and truest connection. The break between heart and soul is deep and shattering and can lead to withdrawal and dysfunction. People in these circumstances may need to re-learn how to connect with others and themselves. They may have to take baby steps to trust that others will stand with them, and they may need to re-engage with themselves and activate their courage to believe that they are entitled to get help for their divorce journey. As a divorce coach, I am one of the support professionals whose role is to help people going through the disconnect learn how to reconnect to their inner wisdom. Together, we build the clarity they need to identify their priorities, and then create new patterns of communication and systems of behavior that will enable them to ask for what they need, and get it, during the process and beyond. I help them separate the emotions of divorce from the business of divorce.
People in recovery are in separation in a multiple ways, especially while in active addiction. During active addiction, people often think they are in control, but they’re not. They have separated from their souls, from their people and from their Higher Power. For them, every day in recovery is active recovery - it is a decision made each day. In this way, every day is spent rebuilding the connection between heart and soul, self and Higher Power, self and others. In this work, I am joined by the SelahBK community, a Jewish-ly inspired recovery community. SelahBK describes itself as “a participation-celebrated, perfection-averse, everyone-welcome community of people in recovery and recovery-curious, grounded in Jewish tradition.” According to SelahBK’s spiritual leader, Arielle Krule, “We believe recovery is for everyone - and all of us need a space and place to be in community with other people who ‘get it’.”
SelahBK recently launched with an incredible Rosh Hashana/Jewish New Year service attended by 80+ in dividuals in Brooklyn, NY. The power and energy of connection, heart and soul, honest and transparent, vulnerable and open, was awesome. And when we concluded with the sounding of the shofar, the ram’s horn, to wake us up from our slumber of complacency, no one was complacent! We were dancing in the aisles, singing and clapping with joy. Connecting. Heart and soul. The power was unmistakable. If you are interested in learning more about the SelahBK community and its programs, please check out SelahBK.org. If you are interested in learning more about divorce coaching, and how it might work for you, even if or perhaps especially if, you are at the very beginning of the process, please check out my website LZLcoaching.com. I offer free 30 minute discovery sessions and we can talk through the process.
If you are experiencing any life transition and finding yourself stuck - this is also a part of your life journey. We all face moments of “stuckness” and we all need support to get through. There are people in our lives who can get us through, and sometimes we need an outside perspective, please reach out. As we enter the new Jewish Year of 5784, I wish you lots of connection on your life journey, heart and soul to heart and soul. Amen Selah.
