Divorce can feel like a slap in the face. You are jolted out of your reality and facing a future you may never have imagined. Or maybe you imagined it for years, but lived in fear of what living that reality really meant. You feel very far from your best self at a time when you need all the inner strength and power you can find.  And you have lots of questions, starting with who do I hire? How do I ask for help? How do I even begin this process?  

To help you answer those questions, here is a list of action steps for how to build your divorce team and start your divorce process with the best support in place.

1. Hire a Divorce Coach - you heard that right - hire a divorce coach. A divorce coach plays a crucial role in guiding clients through the divorce process by providing emotional support, helping them navigate their emotions, and assisting with decision-making. They can help clients manage their stress, communicate effectively, and cope with the challenges that arise during divorce proceedings. A divorce coach can help a client clear away emotions that may push them to seek unrealistic objectives, and let go of demands that are inconsistent with what they really need to move on. A divorce coach can also assist clients in deciding which divorce process is right for them, and help clients find the right professionals for their unique situation. The divorce coach’s sole objective is to facilitate their client's goal to achieve a more positive and empowered divorce experience, and save them time and money along the way.

2. Hire a CDFA - a Certified Divorce Financial Advisor - in many cases, couples delegate responsibilities so that one spouse is responsible for the finances and the other doesn’t know anything. Very often, I have clients who feel clueless about their financial picture, and need to begin understanding their finances, maybe for the first time, at the beginning of their divorce process. They may never have spoken to an accountant or a financial advisor before. Now is the time to hire one!  Overall, a CDFA can provide you with the financial expertise and guidance needed to navigate the complexities of divorce. They can help you make informed decisions, protect your financial interests and plan for a secure financial future.

3. Consider mediation - in mediation both parties in the couple work with a mediator to resolve their issues together, in a non-adversarial context.  Mediation offers a more collaborative opportunity for a smoother transition into post-divorce life. Mediation can save money, reduce costs, give the parties more control over the process, which will often go much faster than a court focused, adversarial divorce process. The parties involved in a mediated divorce often have better communication as the platform provides space for problem solving in real time which is especially important when you have children. These advantages make mediation an attractive option for couples seeking a more collaborative, cost effective, and efficient way to navigate their divorce.

4. Engage an Attorney- There are often situations where mediation is not the best option for divorcing couples. In cases of domestic abuse, power imbalance between the spouses, when one party is really not willing to cooperate, in instances where there are complex legal or financial issues, or mental health concerns the client’s best interests will be represented by an attorney. Finding the right attorney is not always easy.  But when you have a divorce team supporting you, you will be guided to find the attorney who meets your specific needs. 

Though it may seem daunting to engage so many people as your support network in divorce, it actually gets you through the process much more quickly saving you time, money and emotional overwhelm.  Your divorce will be completed more quickly and you can begin your new chapter sooner.  Ultimately, that is your goal - walking into your next phase feeling stronger, confident and courageous.